Some more nagging

I’m not finished with Rashoumon but I’ve started Brutal Darkness which is a trilogy and I haven’t bought the third book not being on sale. My book stash is getting stuffed and each book leaves me hungrier for more. It’s like fresh air… No. It’s a wind bringing me stranger smells and making me wonder what adventuring in woods tastes like? Ah… Man… Sucks to be a normal girl in an era devoid of magic and adventures. Normal. A girl. This era. Yep. You know it’s surprisingly more painful when you’re living with your grandparents. Grandma, who was raised to be wed as every female in that time did. I’m not a feminist but having nothing in common is painful you know? She thinks I must be prepared too and believe me it’s not pleasant to be told things I love and care for mean nothing. And I don’t mean anime or books. Simple things like walking in the morning or looking at the sky. Escapism… Is a thing now, for me. I curl inside… Hug myself and think of when I get out. Loneliness is such a toxic. I’m not looking for a soul mate I just need to tell someone how I missed a buss or how the profs where as kind as always. Small things… You know? Small things which do not really matter. Walls with no people do not feel home. They do not feel anything. Funny thing is right now my family is here and now I get it. Just how stupid it is to live without some people around. Family, friends, I don’t know.

I’m going to drown myself in some more books… Oh and I recovered from that stupid cold.

Sigh…

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